Magical Impulses by the creator

My favorite impulses:

Once I peed on grandmas carpet.
Once I peed on another paitent in the hospital.
Once I peed on Scott.
Once I peed in the sink, the floor, the wall, out the window, through a screen, and on me
Once I peed on my brother, but he hit me.
Once I peed in Pizza Hut

I have jumped over the counter of various stores, including McDonalds, TacoBell, Wendys, Chucky Cheese, Bills Doughnuts, Walmart and Buybacks
Jumped over the bar at a place called the White Rabbit, I crashed into a shelf and was pulled out by my scruff.

I have drank strangers' drinks at restaurants. Man threatened to fight me, but his leg was broken so he couldn't.
I have drank a beer from two strangers glasses (I'm 21)

I have mooned people, gotten naked so many times, got my mail naked, mother said she's seen me naked more times than dad.

I have been in about 5 major fights

took the laundry out of the washer and hung it up on the wall, pooped on the floor, pooped outside. Touched a man's nipple, kissed my friends grandma (On the lips) Ran naked throughout a hospital many times, spilled so many things I could fill a landfill. I have received pizza without anything but a shirt on.

I have done many good things, I am always looking positively at strangers, trying to help the ederly and unabled. Many times people think I shouldn't but I do it anyway.

I cut my dad's blinds down.
I smashed my dad's shelves
I smashed his plates.
Threw my hat, my backpack and my friends e-cigarette out the window while driving. Not to mention my phone, bottles of water and a whole box of doughnuts. And a whole bag of snacks.